Posted by Michelle Geyer
There's a reason we reach for warmth when we need to feel safe. A hot drink, a bath, a heat pack when we feel unwell - it's instinctive. But warmth isn't just comforting, it's communicative: a direct line to the nervous system, telling the body it can finally stand down.
At LAMAV, this is the thinking behind our new Self Warming Eye Mask. A small, quiet ritual designed around one of the most overworked, under-considered parts of the body. We sat down with Jacqui Raadschelders — Nervous System Educator, Physiotherapist and Health Coach at Brain Body Wellness to understand why the eyes hold so much tension, what "safety" actually feels like on a physiological level, and why the few minutes before sleep might be the most important window in our entire day.
Can you explain, in simple terms, what it actually means to have a “dysregulated” nervous system — and how common is this in modern life?
Most of the time, we should be sitting in a regulated rest and digest state. This is the state where we feel most like ourselves: clear headed, at ease in the body, able to actually enjoy our life rather than just get through it. But in today’s world, there’s so much stress coming at us that many of us get stuck in fight or flight, or shutdown, instead. These survival responses evolved to help us escape real physical danger, like running from a tiger. These days the “tiger” looks more like an inbox that never empties, a notification buzzing mid conversation, or a to-do list that outpaces the day, and the body responds to that low grade, constant threat almost the same way. Modern life throws so many of these smaller stresses at us that most people spend the bulk of their day in fight or flight or shutdown, without ever properly coming back to a regulated state. That’s what a dysregulated nervous system looks like, and it’s far more common than most people realise.
Most people associate the nervous system with stress and anxiety, but you also talk about its connection to physical health. Can you walk us through that relationship?
Health isn’t just what you eat or how you move. It relies on being in a regulated rest and digest state. That’s where digestion actually works: saliva flows, stomach acid releases, food moves properly through the intestines. It’s where detox pathways switch on, immune function does its job, and inflammation stays in check. All of this comes back to the vagus nerve, which only functions properly when the body feels safe. Since most of us spend more time in fight or flight than we realise, the vagus nerve can’t do its job, and that shows up throughout the body, not just in mood. Pain is one of the clearest examples: a nervous system stuck in survival mode becomes more sensitive and can amplify pain signals, which is often why chronic pain doesn’t resolve through treating the body alone. Healing works the same way. Injuries, organs, tissue, all of it repairs and regenerates more slowly outside of a regulated state. The nervous system isn’t separate from physical health, it’s the foundation underneath all of it.
What are the most telling signs that someone’s nervous system is stuck in fight-or-flight mode — particularly by the time evening arrives?
The biggest one is feeling tired but wired. All day the mind’s had somewhere to go, kept busy and a little distracted by the running around, so it doesn’t feel that loud. The moment the body actually stops and rests at night, the mind takes centre stage and takes over. Often there’s an energy crash in the afternoon, then by evening the brain switches on and starts racing. A tight chest. A churning gut. Heat, or shakiness. A jaw that won’t unclench. Thoughts that loop and won’t settle. Many people also can’t sit still without reaching for a screen or something to distract them, because being still with an unregulated nervous system doesn’t feel restful, it feels unsafe.
We’re hearing more and more about how the body heals when it feels safe. What does safety actually look and feel like to the nervous system — and why is bedtime such a critical window to create it?
Safety feels calm. It’s the body settling: heart rate slowing, muscles softening, breath deepening, that sense of being held rather than braced. Some of that comes from co-regulation, a calm voice, a steady presence, being around someone whose nervous system is settled. We can also build it from within, through breath, warmth and ritual, which matters most at bedtime. This is why bedtime isn’t just about being tired enough to sleep, it’s about feeling safe enough to. If we’re still stuck in fight or flight, it’s much harder to fall asleep, and it often shows up later as a wake up pattern at two or three in the morning, usually tied to cortisol not doing what it should be doing overnight.
Why do so many people struggle to “switch off” at night, even when they’re exhausted? What’s happening neurologically in those moments of lying awake with a racing mind?
During the day we’re rushing, distracted, moving, and that movement discharges some of the fight or flight energy as we go. At night, the body stops. No input. No distraction. Just dark and quiet, which is exactly when the brain finally gets the space to go wild and start overthinking. Cortisol plays a role too. It should be low through the evening and only start climbing again in the early hours of the morning to prepare us to wake. When that rhythm is disrupted, cortisol staying elevated when it should be winding down, switching off becomes much harder.
What role does the vagus nerve play in our ability to fall asleep, and what are the most effective science-backed ways to stimulate it as part of a bedtime practice?
To fall asleep, we need to get back into rest and digest, and the vagus nerve is central to that. There are many ways to create safety in the body and activate it - which one works best is different for everyone and what state their nervous system is in. An easy place to start is the breath. Most of us stuck in fight or flight breathe into the upper chest, which actually signals the body to stay in survival mode, since that’s the pattern we’d use if we genuinely needed extra oxygen fast. Switching to slow belly breathing, with a longer exhale than inhale, tells the body it’s safe and switches the vagus nerve back on. Humming or gentle chanting does the same job through the vibration in the throat, an easy one to add without turning bedtime into another routine to get right.
Warmth is something humans have sought for comfort for thousands of years — from warm baths to hot drinks before bed. What is actually happening in the nervous system when we apply gentle heat to the body?
When we’re in fight or flight, our muscles tighten. A flexed posture. Tense shoulders. A clenched jaw. Even our eye muscles work overtime, scanning, focusing, staying alert. Heat is one of the simplest ways to undo that. Applying warmth helps the muscles let go, and that release is what tells the nervous system it’s safe to stand down.
The eye area is one place we rarely think to address in a wind-down routine. From a nervous system perspective, why might releasing tension around the eyes have such a significant impact on our overall sense of calm?
Our eye muscles are some of the most used muscles in the body, and they work especially hard in fight or flight, constantly scanning for danger or focusing on threat. They’re also deeply tied to emotion. Think about how much we express through our eyes. Applying warmth to that area doesn’t just relax the muscles, it brings a felt sense of safety that ripples through the whole nervous system, not just the eyes.
There’s growing research around the impact of darkness and warmth combined on melatonin production and the body’s wind-down response. Can you speak to how these two sensory signals work together neurologically?
Darkness is the cue. It tells the body to start producing melatonin and begin winding down, which is why dimming the lights and switching to warm rather than cool white light in the evening matters. Getting outside for sunlight first thing in the morning does the opposite job, telling the body to stop producing melatonin and anchoring the sleep-wake cycle for the next night. Warmth supports this from another angle. There’s research specifically on warming the eye area, and it found something interesting: warming the eyes doesn’t heat up the body’s core, but it does warm the hands and feet. That’s the same pattern the body naturally goes through right before we fall asleep, our hands and feet warm up as the body settles toward rest. So a warming eye mask isn’t just relaxing, it’s nudging the body into that same physical state it naturally moves through on the way to sleep. Darkness and warmth end up sending the same message to the nervous system, from two different directions.
You work with clients to build what you call “regulating rituals.” What makes a bedtime routine genuinely nervous-system-regulating, as opposed to just another item on the to-do list?
The body responds to routine. When you repeat the same sequence, you create changes in the brain, and the brain learns that these particular actions mean sleep is coming soon. Dim the lights, put phones on flight mode, read a book, do some meditation or deep breathing and have a few minutes of stillness rather than one more thing squeezed in before you crash. Most of us rush through the day in fight or flight, so bedtime becomes one of the only times you can genuinely dedicate to yourself. Done consistently, it’s not just about falling asleep faster. It’s a chance to feel calm and held before sleep and let your body remember what regulated feels like.
Breathwork is something you recommend for nervous system regulation. If someone has just opened a warming eye mask and placed it over their eyes, what would you suggest they do in those first few minutes to maximise the shift from stress to rest?
Breathwork is a great place to start. Take one large breath in through the nose, then right at the top, sniff in a little more air, and let it all go with a long sigh out through the mouth. This is one of the fastest ways to bring the nervous system down out of stress and doing it a few times under the warmth of the mask is a beautiful combination. From there, I love moving into a contact point exercise. Start at the feet and move slowly up the body, noticing anything you can feel touching your skin: your heels on the bed, the backs of your calves, how your socks feel, how the sheets feel. Keep moving up, noticing where your back feels supported, checking in with your muscles as you go. Together, these only take a few minutes, and they're a simple way to bring a felt sense of safety back into the body.
You work with clients managing chronic conditions using nervous system strategies. Can you explain the cortisol-sleep-skin triangle, and why poor sleep is so often an overlooked root cause of skin concerns?
Sleep, stress and skin health are closely linked. Even short periods of restricted sleep can disrupt the body’s normal cortisol rhythm, while ongoing stress and poor sleep may contribute to inflammation, impaired skin-barrier recovery and changes in collagen production over time. Research has found that sleep restriction can delay skin-barrier recovery, and people with chronically poor sleep tend to show more signs of skin ageing.
Sleep is also an important period for tissue repair. A large proportion of growth hormone release occurs during deep sleep, supporting repair and regeneration throughout the body. When sleep is repeatedly shortened or disrupted, some of these restorative processes may also be affected.
Visibly, poor sleep can show up as puffiness around the eyes, dull or uneven-looking skin and an overall tired appearance.
That’s why sleep and nervous system regulation are always part of my approach to skin concerns—not only what you put on top.
If someone has been in a chronic stress cycle for a long time, is it realistic that consistent, small rituals (like a nightly warming eye mask practice) can genuinely begin to shift their nervous system baseline over time?
Yes, absolutely, and it’s what I advise all my clients. Longer practices like an hour of yoga or a thirty minute meditation are great, but they’re not enough on their own. It’s not the one big reset that changes a nervous system baseline, it’s what happens in the small, easy to skip moments in between. Weaving short, consistent regulating practices into the day, alongside those longer sessions, is what’s genuinely powerful for shifting someone out of a chronic stress pattern over time.
Regulation isn't built in one long reset — it's built in the small moments we choose to return to, night after night. If you're ready to make warmth part of yours, discover the Self Warming Eye Mask and start tonight's ritual.
If you're looking for more tailored Nervous System education and support you can learn more about Jacqui's workshops here or join one of her programs here.
